Food – Glorious Food

I am from the south with a grandmother that could cook heaven on earth.  I am an emotional eater – dopamine is good feeling stuff.  I have always worried about my weight, lack of tone and shape.  All of this is to say, I have spent a better part of my life obsessing about food.  I like it. I like to eat it. It likes me too and likes to stay around me as fat!!

Last year, I was finally able to make a lifestyle change and lose almost 30 pounds. I am 5’2 people. 30 pounds means I was very overweight!  At first, I was very good about maintaining those good habits. Then as you might suspect, I got a little lazy. But no worries – I had found running and it saved me. Then after a while, I compensated for that too. L  Eventually, I found myself 3 pounds heavier than my desired weight and I couldn’t get rid of it.  Now, I get that 3 pounds is not a lot but it is 10% of my total weight loss.  Plus, most ladies will tell you, 3 pounds becomes 30 pounds with 1 french fry!

Realistically, my new weight was not a bad weight. I felt pretty good. I looked good mostly. But my tummy was the home of the new 3 pounds. I could already see the end of the road. Too tight pants morphing into a new size morphing into fat Stacey returns.  Plus, it just sucks to work so hard and still have a fat tummy.

So I researched and found another new thing to try. By posting on FB, I also got advice from a skating buddy. Life changing moment peeps. See, all of my focus was on food and how to eat it. But my friend helped me look at my relationship with food. Why I had the thoughts I did about food? Why I reacted as I did and what I was really after? You know what; I was focusing on food because I didn’t want to focus on me.  I didn’t want to acknowledge that my goal and self image may be a little out of whack.

I am such a work in progress. But how fortunate that we can grow and change. I may always have my food tummy. I may never have rock hard abs. But I am ok with that. I will eat right. I will continue to skate and run and do all the supporting activities for those sports. I will continue to condition and strengthen. I will love my body that lets me do these things. More than that I will accept that body and honor it. And I will learn to view food as just fuel; nothing more and nothing less.  I have to remember I may not be where I want to be but at least I am trying to get there!